Fixing the "Liberal" Bible

A few more thoughts on the new "conservative" translation of the bible which is being compiled at Conservapedia.com.

It has been fascinating to spend a little time reviewing some of the proposed changes to the text. Perhaps even more interesting, however, is to read the explanatory comments of the "translators." Recall that this project does not use any Greek or Hebrew manuscripts and it appears that a knowledge of the ancient languages is essentially absent among those involved. Rather, this bible is a translation from what is believed to be a "too liberal" King James Version.

Here are just a few of the specific comments made by the translators which provides a glimpse of the agenda behind this project.

There is surprise expressed that, "Even the KJV had some gender-neutral verbiage." The translators of this bible go out of their way in every verse to "avoid feminist style of seeking gender neutrality" and to "avoid emasculation of 'men' as 'people' or other gender neutral term."

It also becomes clear that predestination is part of the conservative agenda. In Mark 4:12, for example, which describes the people who rejected Jesus as "listening but not understanding," there is this explanation: "This verse, and the one preceding, is one of the earliest statements concerning the predestination and unconditional election of believers." 

In Mark 12:23 where the Sadducees tried to trick Jesus, the "translators" of this bible find opportunity to slam evolutionists, "This Levirate Riddle is quite similar to the logically fallacious arguments that evolutionists raise against creationists today." 

There are fascinating tidbits throughout. Did you ever wonder about the star the three wise men followed? Turns out that "the star was probably the planet Jupiter." 

The comments in this bible also force the reader into an extremely literally interpretation of everything. The hail in Revelation 16:21 has the added comment, "Any rock or hailstone weighing that much would deliver as much energy as would a nuclear device." And in Revelation 13:25, "The 'falling stars' are likely meteors." If we are tempted to use Old Testament references such as “Hailstorms will sweep away all the lies you depend on...” (Isaiah 28:17), this bible will lead us away from the temptation.

If there is ever a chance to correct immoral behavior, this bible takes the opportunity. For example, in the story of the men at the cross who cast lots to see who should have Jesus' garments there is a link to an article about the dangers of gambling.

Have you had problems understanding the prophecy in Revelation? The footnote with regards to the rider on the white horse of  Revelation 6:2 states: "The first horseman of the Apocalypse is dictatorship."

In Revelation 6:12 we learn that "Extreme volcanic activity might produce these effects." And, while there is some doubt about Revelation 8:8, "This could be a catastrophic fall of a near- earth asteroid", there is no doubt by the time we reach verse 10, "This is definitely a near-earth asteroid." In the next verse we learn that the star sometimes translated "Wormwood" seems to represent "Absinth...a known neurotoxin, which is why it is today a completely illegal drug. According to legend, [liberal] President Franklin Delanor Roosevel took absinthe, though in very small amounts."

Perhaps enough said on the footnotes. As an interesting side note, the inflammatory footnotes in bible's stopped with the 1611 King James Version. Prior to that, Protestant bible's slammed the Catholics in the footnotes and then Catholics returned the favor. For example, William Tyndale said that 666 in Revelation clearly refered to the Pope, and included spicy comments such as, "Oh, abominable pope will all his idols." The Catholics had their revenge with the 1582 Rheims-Douay bible which noted that 666 actually refered to Martin Luther. In addition, on Matthew 6:24 about Jesus' words not to serve two master's: "Two religions, God and Baal, Christ and Calvin, Masse and Communion, the Catholike Church and Heretical Conventicales." (no typo's there!)

Probably no footnote in bible history tops Edmund Beck's 1549 translation, however. His comment with regards to 1 Peter 3:7, which deals with how husbands and wives should treat each other is quite amazing (in the old English, of course): "And if she be not obedient and healpeful unto hym, endeavoureth to beate the feare of God into her heade..."

Now just a few comments on the textual changes in the conservative bible:

The book of Revelation now deals with the dangers of drug abuse. "Neither did they change their hearts away from their murders, their drug abuse, their immoral sexual lifestyles..." (9:21) and "all ethnic groups were deceived by means of your drugs of abuse!" (18:23). Finally, "the cowards, the unbelievers, the detestable ones, the murderers, the clients of prostitute, the drug pushers, the idol worshippers, and all liars, will have their part in the lake of fire..." (21:8)

The inconsistency of this translation is also worth noting. The meaningful words of John the Baptist to the Pharisees in Matthew 3:7, where he called them "snakes" is replaced by the slang, "You jerks!" While the translation of this verse as "You jerks!" might be alright if you were writing something for 5th graders, this bible then goes on to translate Matthew 13:33, "The Kingdom of heaven is like yeast, that a woman took and hid in three sata of meal..." How many of us know what a "sata" is? According to the footnotes, "a saton is equivalent to 21.6 dry pints" but why choose a word like "jerk" in one place and then an archaic word like "sata" in another?

As mentioned before, Jesus' dying words, "Father, forgive them," are taken out of this bible. This omission creates a rather significant and sad change in our theology. And finally, God's wrath is now described in this way: "And I saw another sign in the heavens, a great and truly awesome sign: seven Messengers of God having the seven last plagues. In them the out-of-control rage of God is filled up. (Revelation 15:1)

"...the out-of-control rage of God"?

The words of Ralph Waldo Emmerson seem to fit well in this context:

"A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshiping we are becoming."